Walk in the manner of the ant, O slacker; observe its ways and become wise. Without a commander, without an overseer or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food at harvest.
Proverbs 6:6-8
I may have dropped the long title “On Desperation, Dining in the Dark, Depression, and Deliberate Action” but I promise that we will cover all of these things again. It is so easy to become ensnared in the nets of life. In fact, its common to be unwittingly caught in someone else’s net. When is the last time you bought a car from a dealership? I promise that when you step onto the car lot, you are squarely on their territory. This might be your first purchase but it is their 5000th sale. They know what you are thinking and every word you will say. The same is true when shopping for a wedding dress. Most of us will only ever need one such garment and so we go into the store without a plan and often full of emotion. There we encounter a crew of sales associates with a deliberate and refined plan! We walk in with the illusion of choice, but the fact is that the system has been rigged by those who have thought ahead.
The same is true with food. We *think* we are choosing. We assume that we’re acting with a sense of agency. Yet what is actually happening is that we are unwittingly caught in a deadly habit loop aided by a well thought through plan on the part of both the food AND diet industries. Desperation about our compulsive food behaviours leads to a crazy diet, which in turn leads to rebellion and resentment and eventual “cheat eating”. At that point, fast food companies and junk food manufacturers are waiting in the wings for us. Our eating with reckless abandon leads to depression and more desperation and a new crash diet. And when we are in that place we will take whatever hope we can get. Any diet huckster with a shiny narrative or “before and after picture” can come along and take advantage. Then we are caught in their net too.
Even my own readership has shot up over the past few months and I am convinced that many who read my words do so because I simply sound different and new, inspiring a sense of hope. But it’s a desperate hope. This is why I am now in the bubble-bursting business. There is no silver bullet. No panacea. I don’t seek to make millions off of your plight; I simply seek to help my own situation. I am just one beggar offering some (low carb) bread to another beggar. And the ideas I offer are not even my own; they are the time-tested wisdom of Scripture. I am simply data-mining the Bible and serving it up in fresh packaging (not that the Bible needs my help!).
Deliberate action
One of those biblical things that I propose (and the focus of todays post) is self-control, and I promise that it is un-sexy. And at the same time it is a supercharged fruit of the Spirit that has the capacity to change the whole game (Galatians 5:23). More specifically, there is an aspect of self-control that I believe especially pertains to our plight with food: deliberate action.
Let me throw some synonyms at you to explain what I mean by deliberate action: intentional, calculated, conscious, done on purpose, intended, planned, considered, studied, willful, purposeful, premeditated, preplanned, thought out in advance, prearranged, preconceived, predetermined. These are the words the describe the higher self; the part of our minds set on things above (Colossians 3:2).
Now, because I am a word-nerd of the highest order, the antonyms: half-cocked, ill-advised, chance, haphazard, hit-or-miss, random, aimless, desultory, purposeless, hasty, hurried, rushed, abrupt, impetuous, sudden, impromptu, instinctive, spontaneous. What do these words remind you of? Yes, these all describe the crazy diet-and-relapse cycle we often find ourselves in. There’s no real plan, just instinct, only reactions. I can assure you that if these words describe your relationship with food and dieting, you are simply not in charge. Your freedom of choice is an illusion and you are actually being ruled by the flesh (Galatians 5:19) when it comes to food.
Step out of the ring
Solution number one for escaping the crazy food roller coaster is to step back from the game itself. Deliberate action does this. Think about this idea applied to the area of conflict. We know that the worst time to try to work through a nuanced issue with our child is in the middle of the skirmish. This why parenting gurus say “Talk about delicate issues during times of non-conflict”. Why? Because when both parties are emotionally escalated, we struggle to think rationally. Logic fails and passion rules the moment. The same is true in marriage or when tussling with your boss. The best choice is to take a step back. Ponder the interaction carefully. Approach gently when heads are cool. This is also known as “adulting”.
The same holds true for the food fight we find ourself in. Why not take a step back? Step out of the ring for a moment. Put the sword down. Take stock of the situation. I recommend a week or two of simple food tracking with no censoring and zero self-flagellation or judgment. What do I eat in a day? What triggers me to eat unreasonable foods at unreasonable portions? What “reason” do I give myself as a prelude to a binge? We are dispassionately gathering data like scientists (science just means “knowledge”).
Make a deliberate plan
Solution number two in the Deliberate Action approach affords us real power: we focus on laying out and then mastering preplanned steps. In this way we are like Odysseus, who ordered his crew to plug their ears with wax and tie him to the mast of the ship so that when they heard the Sirens’ enchanting songs and were enticed by them they would be prevented from being drawn to their deaths.
In this way we reject the notions of “intuitive eating” or an “organic” or “free” approach. We know better. This is simply the call of the flesh and we know how that story ends. The fact is that we cannot handle a social drink and therefore shouldn’t be at the bar. And that’s okay. Instead, we must decide to eat consciously, with our eyes wide open. We must determine in advance every morsel we will consume, at least for now. Remember that whole “adulting” thing? We are far from “adult” when it comes to food. An adult might be able to accept a polite portion of cake at a birthday party and decide she’s had enough after three bites. We just aren’t there yet. No, we are going back to sleep schedules and feeding times. Mom and dad have to decide what and when we eat. Maybe one day we will grow up in this area, but for now we need a dad who can help us to learn discipline (Hebrews 12:9).
We are becoming the ant that was referenced at the top of the post. We do the deliberate work up front before the winter comes. We secure ourselves to the mast before Sirens sing. We plan and then pack our lunch so that when the flesh calls to us, we can say “No, Flesh. I actually have a meal here that I intend to eat. It is tasty, nutritious, and most importantly I chose it- not you!” This is what living according to your higher self looks like. This is the fruit of self-control. This is the excitingly boring daily practice that brings salvation. Aesop’s ant was ready when when the storm came because he had spent the year preparing while the grasshopper was playing music. In the same way, self-control spares us when the stormy temptations arise.
Depression, dining in the dark, and desperation
When we enact a deliberate action framework, these three ugly points in the cycle are attacked simultaneously. Our depression lifts because acting according to our values feels really fantastic. We are less tempted to sneak-eat because we have a solid plan and have prepared in advance. Our desperation subsides because we have committed to a sensible food plan that we know will get us to where we want to go in the long run. And by now I am sure you know that “where we want to go” is not about fitting into an outfit…it’s about something so much deeper. It is about escaping the snare of the world becoming more like God.