“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined,
Matthew 12:25
and every city or household divided against itself will not stand”
Have you ever seen those old cartoons where the character has a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other? He is being tempted, and each of them is whispering in his ear. The angel is telling him in a mild, sing-songy voice to take the higher path…to do what’s right. But the devil (usually with a cigar hanging out of his mouth) wants him to give in to his passions.
As I grew older I eventually wrote that sort of cartoon imagery off as childish, but I need to tell you this: re-adopting a more evolved version of those characters has actually been an essential cornerstone as I have sought to take control of my flesh. You will recall from the first post in this series on the flesh that Paul noticed that he had two sets of competing desires within him; in his inmost being he delighted in God’s law, but at the same time he found that sin held him captive, compromising both his mind and his body (Romans 7:22-23).
As I meditated on this scripture I found that like Paul, I also have two distinct wills at work inside me all of the time. The first is what I call my true self. This is the real me. My inner being. It is who we really are inside. It is sometimes referred to as the “ego” or the “I” in psychoanalytic circles. It is the aspect of us that dreams and hopes and loves and is truly good. It is the part of who we are that is lit up by God’s law and that craves a righteous relationship with God.
Alas, it is my conviction that we have another part of ourselves living within us- the flesh. Carl Jung called it (or something akin to it) the “shadow self”. It has also been referred to as the Id or the Beast. This is the animalistic part of ourselves. It is a dark part lying beneath the surface who wants and craves. It is unthinking and relentless. In spite of what the true, delighting-in-God self wants, our animal self has other plans and we often succumb to its drives and urges.
What does this mean in light of food and eating? When we truly desire to have something noble, like a well-kept body (not for fleshly purposes but because we view it as God’s temple) and when we try our best to take the righteous actions necessary to make it that body happen, the fleshly-self eventually rears its ugly head.
But let’s kick this idea up a notch.
Here is what I have learned about this shadowy flesh of mine: it has access to all of my memories and can speak to me in what sounds like my voice. Some might call it an “addictive voice”. Remember all of those rationalizations we make before we break our word to ourselves that I spoke about a few weeks ago? What if those are not “your” words (at least not the words of your true self)? What if instead, those words are thoroughly counterfeit; generated by the animal you are encased in? What if it is really your flesh talking to you in a voice that sounds like yours?
In many respects, that is a revolutionary thought with serious practical implications. That would mean that whenever we speak about “falling off the wagon”, we are really just answering the call of our animal self. I know that to some of you this all might seem far fetched. That’s okay. You don’t have to believe all of this stuff. What I want you to take away from this post is that each of us has two wills within us. One represents our higher aims and desires, and other represents our animalistic cravings and compulsions. I promise to write much more about this.
The higher will is concerned with deeper meaning and the long term. It is mature and understands that we sometimes have to give up things in the short term to meet our long term goals. The lower will only thinks about the now with zero regard to consequence. It is popular in culture to say “just indulge” and “you only live once”; to listen to the voice of the lower self. But I contend that the vast majority of good things in our lives are built slowly, deliberately and in step with our higher values over time. They are built with integrity. The product of listening and responding to our higher selves over time is a rich and meaningful life. A life where we achieve our greater ambitions. However, a life directed predominantly by our lower selves might on the surface appear to be lived “in the moment” but often that fleeting moment is all we get. And we often pay the price for those moments.
Think about the compulsion to go for ice cream. Not the kind you get with your daughter, not as a memory made with beloved friends, but as a raw and fleshly craving. I used to be chronically tempted with the large chocolate dipped cone from Dairy Queen. That thing sang to me like a beautiful Siren, except there was no one to tie me to the mast of my ship as I sailed by the DQ sign each day! The moments when I chose to pull in and approach the drive-through window caused a little leap in my heart! In spite of my higher self knowing better, or choosing to be moderate in my indulgence by getting a SMALL cone, I would gleefully jump in head long for the biggest one money could buy. And what did I get for this compulsion? A few moments of pleasure. The quenching pleasure of breaking apart the chocolate pieces with my teeth.
But within a minute the joy would evaporate. Like Pinocchio, a tail and ears would sprout on my body and I would recognize my folly. My eyes would be opened and I would realize that not only do I not enjoy the remaining ¾ of my ice cream cone, but that I would pay for that choice to stray from my commitment to myself with excess body weight and the knowledge that I had broken an important vow. What a tragedy! My lower will had triumphed, but at the expense of what I REALLY wanted: the desires of my true self.
But I am making progress.
Here is what we can get really excited about: that our lower, fleshly will is not a part of our inner selves. When I realized this for the first time, suddenly the landscape of my mind became crystal clear. The encouraging thing, the absolutely crucial thing, is that once we recognize this lower will for what it is and understand the fact that it is not part of our real selves, we can be empowered to make real choices. We can say NO to our lower will. This is because we no longer confuse it with who we really are.
I have learned that recognizing what I call “the voice of the flesh” is the first step in one’s ability to stop any fleshly compulsion in its’ tracks. I believe that this is what Jesus did when he dismissed the Devil in the desert (Luke 4:4) and when he uttered to Peter “Behind me Satan!” (Mark 8:33). I believe that it was also did when he pleaded with God to take the cup of the cross away from him. He said, “Yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39). Jesus recognized that the spiritual battle was a battle of wills. He was tempted in every way says Hebrews and I so are we. Yet Jesus had the power to recognize which voice came from his human nature and which came from his Father.
In my own life I have learned that by recognizing the voice of the flesh, I can provide a bit of margin from it…some breathing space. When tempted I say “My flesh wants a doughnut” or “My flesh wants to lash out in anger”. That reminds me that “I” do not want that thing; I want what the Father wants! And lately, that has been enough to turn the tide on a number of longstanding sins and strongholds in my life.
I submit to you this simple point: once you learn to first recognize and then consistently say NO to your lower will, you have won virtually the entire game against the animal in you. Because that IS the game. Where diet programs fail is that they assume or pretend that the lower will doesn’t exist; that we possess no dark passenger. We are then perplexed and ashamed when we are unable to follow those diet plans. We feel shame because we think it’s us.
I house divided unto itself cannot stand. Unless you realize that there is a traitor in your home, your efforts will likely fail. But the good news is that when we cling to our spiritual selves, guided by the Father’s words, and say no to our flesh then we can run the race that God has marked out for us unhindered.
Another excellent article, Sean. Viewing our urges and choices this way makes so much sense, and really illuminates what Paul discusses in Romans 7. T
Thanks!
Another excellent article, Sean. Viewing our urges and choices this way makes so much sense, and really illuminates what Paul discusses in Romans 7.
Thanks!
Thanks! I don’t want to go beyond what is written, but learning to separate the voice of the flesh from my true self has helped me in the battle.
Great to hear that you are already making progress! I am enjoying reading about this journey Sean. Thanks for inviting me in……